Posts tagged ‘river’

May 2, 2012

Losing out on the things you love

I recently went away for the weekend. Not too far from home, but far enough… to a place where cellphones have very little signal for some of the time, and no signal the rest of the time. This meant that I had no choice, I had to put my phone down, leave the 1970’s television off (no reception – really is there for show and tell) and actually enjoy the moment I was in.

We, as a family, had to look each other in the eyes. We had to spend time together. We had to actually truly engage with each other. And it was beautiful.

We stayed on the edge of the Breede river, enjoyed the endless walks, the millions of tiny crabs scurrying underfoot like spiders. No, seriously, there must have been hundreds of them, most of them not bigger than my thumb nail. Every step I took along the riverbank had them darting away, looking for their next hiding place.

The hours my baby G slept, were the hours I read, and even when she was awake, I would often find myself reading as we had quite a few baby sitters on hand, loving her, and taking her to the “ribber”. And this thing called reading is something I used to love to do. I would read for days on end. A few years ago it took me 3 days to read the whole Twilight series. I would read at least 1 new book a week. And now I hardly ever read for fun – always work work work…

But this weekend I read – I started and finished a book, and read most of a second book – every minute I could I was reading, inhaling the words as I sat on a deck, overlooking the river, listening to the wildlife, swatting away the horseflies… I read, and read, and read. And my soul was fed.

We had been back for just over 24 hours when I noticed that I had not once glanced at the book I had almost finished. The other night I found myself checking emails, and facebook last thing before closing my eyes. Now when did I start doing that? And when did that become so important that I couldn’t sleep without knowing what the people that I haven’t seen in years are actually doing? When? And most importantly, why? If I were still in touch with half the people on FB, then they would know what I was doing, they would know where I am. How did they become more important than I am to me?

I therefore decree that I will no longer have FB friends who have never been to my house (or that I am no longer interacting regularly with). I will no longer check in on my non-existant friends during my “soul time”. I will be reading. Reading. And more reading.